Q: What must a person go through to convert..to Judaism or become Jewish? I mean a Christian woman marrying a Jewish man.

A: As a starting point, we can note that what are sometimes called "inter-faith marriages" are markedly on the increase. Some statistics show that more than half of the marriages of Jewish people are to non-Jews.

It is no surprise that in most of these cases, those marrying outside their religion are not deeply committed to their own faith. Intermarriages are far more common among non-practicing and Reform Jews, and still relatively rare among Orthodox Jews. In the same way, Christians who marry non-Christians are more likely to consider themselves "nominal" than "committed."

In the truest sense a Christian is a follower of Jesus Christ. To be a follower, or disciple of Christ, means a couple of things at the core. First, it means understanding what He taught. Then it means believing what He taught. Finally, it follows that one who understands and believes His teaching will also obey -- otherwise one could hardly be called His disciple. (Many more people study what He taught than obey what He taught; it is a valid question to ask if the former can rightly be called Christians. Jesus asked, "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord' and do not do what I say?")

The New Testament has clear instruction for those considering intermarriage: "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?" (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).

Even secular marriage counselors concur with the prophet Amos's words, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" With all the pressures that come to bear on a married couple, having the foundation of a shared faith is a wonderful way to add stability that can help them weather the storms of life. Division in such a core area of life is likely to be a source of real tension at some points – especially when children are added to the family.

I have no poll data to back up this assumption, but I think most counselors would agree that it's best to have a shared religious commitment rather than be polarized over the matter, especially when children are in the picture. Some "blended families" work hard to give the kids a taste of both traditions. This seems to work best when religion is treated only as a cultural preference, and matters such as holidays are observed only superficially (e.g., Passover and Easter are times for gatherings for family meals, not religious services).

But at their heart, religions make truth claims. The "Judeo-Christian" tradition shares with Islam the belief in one God who is Creator of all. Each teaches that God is holy. Each tradition views the Old Testament (Jewish Scriptures, Hebrew Bible, or Tenach) as a sacred book – but for Islam, the Quran supercedes the Bible. For Orthodox Jews, the Talmud provides the guide for daily life. For Christians, the New Testament is the unveiling of the promised Messiah of Israel, and Jesus is the fulfillment of the sacrificial system pictured in the Old Testament.

A Christian who converts to Judaism in order to marry someone Jewish must ask the question, "Who is Jesus to me?" If He is just a man, a moral teacher, or an excellent example, then He can be replaced by others who meet those criteria.

Jesus Himself doesn't leave us with much wiggle room. It was to his (Jewish!) disciples that Jesus made the claim, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me" (John 14:6). John wrote, "He who has the Son has life, and he who does not have the Son of God does not have life" (1 John 5:12).

You see,  there is more at issue than just the identity of the promised Messiah of Israel. (A common formulation of the difference between Judaism and Christianity is that Christians believe Messiah has already come, and Jews are still waiting for Him.) But more than just His identity, His role or purpose is also in question. Judaism has focused on the kingly role of Messiah portrayed by the prophets, i.e., the ruler who will establish peace on the earth. (By the way, many Jewish people have given up on the idea of a personal Messiah, and are instead looking for a Messianic Age.)

The message of the New Covenant (or Testament), however, is that Jesus is not only the King who will one day reign over a kingdom of righteousness and peace, He is also the Savior. By dying in our place, the sinless Son of God took in His own body the penalty rightly due you and me as sinners. This is not a new concept invited by Gentiles who made a god out of a man. This is fulfillment of the divine purpose portrayed in the Levitical sacrificial system and prophesied by the Jewish sages. The clearest depiction of the suffering Messiah is found in Isaiah 53.

Before converting to Judaism,  again the question one must ask is, "What will I do with Jesus?" Or, conversely, "What will I do without Jesus?" For if we do not have in Jesus a Savior who can forgive us from our sins, and give us an abundant life on earth and eternal life in glory, then from what source will we find salvation? The teaching of the Jewish Scriptures is plain: a blood sacrifice is required for sin (see Leviticus 17:11). If we do not have in Jesus our atonement, then where shall we find it?

There is an alternative, of course, and that is for Jews and Gentiles to share a common faith. This indeed is God's design for the Church (see Ephesians 2:1-16). The Apostle Paul, himself a Jew – and proud of it, writes, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ ("Christ" comes from the Greek word "Christos" while "Messiah" comes from the Hebrew "Mashiach"; both have the same meaning), for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek (or Gentile)" (see Romans 1:16).

If Jesus isn't the Jewish Messiah,  He's no one's Messiah! The lie of Satan over the centuries has been "Jews don't believe in Jesus." But in truth all of the early believers were Jewish! God had to deal powerfully to change the mindset of these Jewish followers of Yeshua (Jesus' Hebrew name) to get them to understand that Gentiles didn't have to convert to Judaism to be His disciples (read Acts 10 to see how God dealt with Peter). Today Messianic Jews (Jewish people who believe in Jesus) number in the tens of thousands, and their numbers are growing every day.

Even more important than the decision of who one should spend one's life with – as weighty as that is – is the question of with whom one will spend eternity. No matter which branch of Judaism (Orthodox, Conservative, or Reform) oversees the conversion, of one thing you can be sure: faith in Jesus is not included.

Jesus asked the penetrating question, "What will it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?" (Are we within the spirit of the Master if we ask, "What will it profit a woman if she gains a husband but loses her own soul?") He continues, For what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels (Mark 8:36-38).

I have spoken as plainly as possible in hopes of clearly making the case that faith in Jesus is not something to be lightly dismissed. It has not been my intent to be unkind nor to offend in any way. My desire would be that you would want to share the good news with the Jewish people that Messiah has indeed come, and that the offer of salvation is freely extended "to everyone who believes, to the Jew first. . . ." 

Every blessing in Messiah.

P.S. If you would like to correspond further with us, please feel free! There is nothing we would rather discuss than spiritual matters! Also, you can find more material on our website to substantiate Jesus' rightful claims to the Throne of David. May the God of Israel direct your steps in your spiritual journey.